Pirates of the Carribbean: Will It Ever End?

My wife and I went to see the third Pirates movie last night. After the second one, my expectations were set pretty low. As the second movie was just a multi-hour trailer for the third one, though, I felt obliged to go see the new one.

Now that I've seen the third movie, I think I understand what was wrong with the second movie. I get the impression that the writers bit off more than they could chew. They tried to tackle an 12-hour plot arch in under 6 hours, and it just didn't work out. They desperately tried to cram all the development into the second movie, without making it too boring, and they tried to cram the arch and the resolution into the third movie, which just left me continually scratching my head.

The third movie basically takes the Sinbad route. There were no stop-action sword-wielding skeletons, but they might have been an improvement. Given 6 hours to work with, I think this movie could have been fantastic. With the time they had, though, they tried to cram in too much. They spent a tremendous amount of time explaining why what just happened was plausible, instead of taking the time to develop the back story. On the other end, plot threads just dropped off into the abyss, never to resurface, most likely for lack of time to address them.

My wife is a big action film fan. This film certainly had a lot of action, but some of it just droned on and on and on. My wife actually fell asleep during the 45-minute fight scene at the end, and I don't blame her. It almost did the same thing to me. It was just endless footage of fish people killing pirates and vice versa. They could have saved 20 minutes and millions in effects budget by reducing the scene to a reasonable length.

Overall, I give the film a B-. It was worlds better than the second movie, but nowhere near as entertaining as the first. The most disappointing thing about it for me is that they forgot their audience. No 12-year-old is going to sit still though 3 hours of inexplicable plot twists. The poor parents! The other thing that galled me is that they had the audacity to end the movie with a teaser for the next one! Does it ever end?

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