The Best of Butchered English in International Signs



In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read this notis.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for teh next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.

In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattering of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are burryed daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Swills restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

In a Prague dry cleaner's: Ladies, please lift your skirts by noon.

In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Similarly, from Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhobition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbiden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today ? no ice cream.

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a Budapest Zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the quard on duty.

In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.

From Japanese information booklet about using hotel air conditioner: Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room please control yourself.
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