Conform

God damned IT department.  What a hassle.


TO:        U.S. Employees
FROM:      Global Employee Name Management
DATE:      April 1, 2006
CONTACT:   Name Management x94678 (WHO-R-U)
ACTION:    Please read.


 

This bulletin contains important information about your name.

Overview

Sun has long had a requirement that every UNIX username inside Sun be unique.  The transition to these globally unique usernames was at times painful, but the result has been that Sun has been able to support a level of global operation that is unprecedented.

It is now time to take that process to its next logical step:  Ensuring that employees' names are unique.

Employees with duplicated names represent immeasurable opportunities for confusion, wasted time, and security breaches.  In the interests of improving the efficiency of the company, we are embarking on an ambitious effort to improve this situation by making employees' names globally unique.

Implementation

In the first phase, to be implemented between today and April 1, 2007, approximately 800 employees with duplicated first and last names will be renamed to eliminate the duplication.  At the completion of this phase, it will be possible to uniquely refer to any Sun employee using the employee's first and last name.

In the second phase, to be implemented between April 1, 2007 and April 1, 2008, approximately 20,000 employees with duplicated first names and last initials will be renamed to eliminate the duplication.  At the completion of this phase, it will be possible to uniquely refer to any Sun employee using the employee's first name and last initial.  In
addition to the obvious convenience improvement involved, substantial savings are expected through eliminating printing the full last name on various internal documents.  The ink required to print a typical name will be cut in half!

In the third phase, to be implemented between April 1, 2008 and April 1, 2009, all employees at the Vice President level and above will be renamed so that their first and last initials are unique.  Employees at the E/Z-10 level will be renamed so that their first, middle, and last initials are unique.  In addition, in each Director-level group and
each building, all employees will be renamed so that their first, middle, and last initials are unique.  At the conclusion of this phase, it will be possible to refer to any highly visible employee using only two or three letters, and to any employee in a particular organization or physical location using only three letters.  In the vast majority of cases, use of initials should be sufficient to identify an employee.

New Employees

New employees will be required to conform to the naming requirements in effect on their start date.  If required to pick a new name, they will be encouraged to take the future naming requirements into account in their choice.

Conflict Resolution

In general, the employee with the lower badge number will retain the original name, and those employees with higher badge numbers will be renamed.  The employee will be allowed to choose a new name, but if the employee is not able to decide on a suitable name before the deadline, a new name will be assigned in consultation with the employee's
manager.

 

Comments:

April fools ...

Posted by Arieh Markel on April 01, 2006 at 04:58 AM PST #

Shhhh.......

Posted by Chris Quenelle on April 01, 2006 at 12:18 PM PST #

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