Java Powered Lawyers and Geeks

I was reading through Mary's blog, and clicked through the "Get Java Powered" link. Very cute marketing idea, you answer three little amusing questions, and you get your very own pet Java logo to show the world that you have a decent Geek Factor, or at least a greater geek factor than Strom Thurmond.

For those who might be interested, my Geek Factor is:

You are 55% geek You are a geek. Good for you! Considering the endless complexity of the universe, as well as whatever discipline you happen to be most interested in, you'll never be bored as long as you have a good book store, a net connection, and thousands of dollars worth of expensive equipment. Assuming you're a technical geek, you'll be able to afford it, too. If you're not a technical geek, you're geek enough to mate with a technical geek and thereby get the needed dough. Dating tip: Don't date a geek of the same persuasion as you. You'll constantly try to out-geek the other.

So back to the story at hand...

I thought that having the Java - Get Powered logo in my blog was pretty cool. It sounded like a decent way to promote Sun, and Sun's technologies, and after all, how painful could three little questions be? I was guessing that after answering the questions, I would get a magic link to the logo, and everything would just be kind of "wink nod", in the spirit of the quiz. But no, apparently someone called the lawyers in on this one. The zip file that I downloaded contained less than 70k of data (four little GIF and JPG files) and a 742k PDF file of legalese usage guidelines. That's a 1:10 signal to noise ratio for us geeky types.

Lawyers scare me. Some corporate lawyer decided that if I want to put this logo on my blog, I have to fill out a form with email address, web link to my blog, my employer's name, and my email address. I also have to agree to:

(1) You may use the Logo only as for one of the four listed purposes and for no other purpose. if it is used on your website (including your blog), the Logo must be used as a link to, and may not link to other pages on your website or to a third party website. In addition to these four purposes -- website linking to,desktop wallpaper, internal presentations, and school papers -- the Java Get Powered Logo is available for certain other, limited uses, but you must enter a separate agreement for any of these uses. Without entering an additional agreement,you may use the Logo only for website linking to, desktop wallpaper, internal presentations and school papers, and not for any other purpose, including use on any products, advertising, marketing collateral, labels, packaging, letterhead, or business cards.

So far so good. I linked the graphic to's website.

(2) You may not give away the Logo or otherwise provide, in any way, access to the HTML code for the link.

Uh-oh. This one could be trouble. All browsers that I have ever seen contain a "view source" function that would expose my top-secret HTML code!! They might even allow a user to "Save image as..." and steal my actual graphic file!! Yeesh. Like creating a graphic blob in a webpage that links to some website is a trade secret or something.

(3) You must use the Sun supplied artwork in accordance with this Application/Agreement. The artwork includes the phrase "JAVA GET POWERED" indicating the purpose of the Logo, which is to express your support of the Java platform and to serve as a link back to Sun's website, and is not an endorsement of your or any website or blog, your or any PC or PC desktop, or your or any presentation or paper. The Logo does not indicate the presence of any particular technology on your or any website or PC.

Yes, I absolutely, positively want everyone reading this to know. I support the Java platform, and want everyone to visit Sun's website. Did you get that?

I want YOU the reader of this blog, to visit Sun's website.

(4) You agree to abide by the Sun Trademark & Logo Usage Requirements located at You may not alter the Logo in any way, including its size, proportions, colors, or elements, or otherwise change its appearance. The Logo must appear by itself; it may not be combined with any other graphic or textual elements and may not be used as an element of any other logo or mark.

Great, more legal stuff to read through before I click the "Accept" button.

(5) The Logo may not be a prominent feature on your website, presentation or paper. This means (at a minimum) that it must appear smaller than your web page title or presentation/paper title and any other name or logo, it may not be displayed larger or more prominently than other third party logos. On your web page, it should appear at the bottom, along the sides, or in some placement less prominent than the top. On a presentation or paper, it should not appear a the top or in the center of a title or chapter page, and should be placed in less prominent positions.

Hmmmm... I might have a problem here, in that my blog is about the logo and the process by which it is acquired for use. Since I buried the logo after my geek factor entry, I suppose I could argue that it wasn't exactly "featured" or "prominent".

There, I included another logo that is bigger, and just as "prominent" as the "Java - Get Powered" logo. It even takes you to the Ludlow Sausage Company in the UK. I chose this website because of the quote:

If you're looking for an unsual gift - why not "Say it with Sausages!"

(6) Your use of the Logo must be truthful and not misleading nor may it imply any relationship with, or endorsement or sponsorship by Sun that is not true. You may not use the Logo in connection with any statements or materials that in Sun's judgment are in poor taste or reflect poorly on Sun, its products, technologies, or services. Additionally, you may not use the Logo on any website that is in violation of any applicable laws or government regulations.

My materials in this case would be a blog, or blahg in my case. I believe all statements in this blahg are truthful, to the best of my knowledge and experience. Verbally abusing lawyers has always been a source of entertainment, from Shakespeare to web humor. This blahg is in no way intended to reflect poorly on Sun, whose technologies, products, and services all most definitely rock.

(7) You agree to use the following legend on the webpage where the Logo appears or on an attribution page accessible from the webpage or blog where the Logo appears, or on the page of your presentation or school paper where citations or copyright or other legal notices appear: "Java, the Java Coffee Cup logo, and all Java based brand designations are trademarks or registered trademarks of Sun Microsystems, Inc. in the U.S. and other countries."

A self-fulfilling prophecy there. By quoting the agreement, I have quoted the legal notice contained within!

(8) Sun reserves the right to approve or disapprove the use of the Logo on your website or blog (including size, surrounding text, placement, etc.), desktop, presentation or school paper to ensure compliance with these terms. Sun reserves the right to modify these terms, the Guidelines, or the Logo or create a new Logo at any time. You agree to modify your use of the Logo within thirty (30) days of Sun's email notice. Sun further reserves the right to terminate this Agreement without cause at any time and any permission granted by it. You agree to stop all use of the Logo within 24 hours of such termination notice. Sun also reserves the right to take any action against any misuse or unfair, misleading, diluting, or infringing use of Sun's trademarks and logos.

Absolutely. If Sun asks me to remove the logo from my blahg, I will be more than happy to do so. Of course, I might have to throw in a replacement logo of some kind, promoting an annoying purple dinosaur, or something even more hideous to set up my insanity defense.

(All in good fun, I have many talented friends among Sun's legal teams, and they always have the best lawyer jokes)



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