Top Ten Secrets To The Boston Red Sox Comeback

David Letterman's "Top Ten Secrets To The Boston Red Sox Comeback", presented last night by Curt Schilling:

10. Unlike the first three games, we didn't leave early to beat the traffic.
9. We put flu virus in Jeter's gatorade.
8. Let's just say Pete Rose made some phone calls for us.
7. We asked Pokey Reese to be a little less pokey.
6. It's not like we haven't won a big game before--it's just been 86 years.
5. Honestly, I think we were tired of hearing about the Patriots.
4. The messages of encouragement Martha sent on prison napkins.
3. We pretended the baseball was Letterman's head.
2. What'd you expect--we have a guy who looks like Jesus!

And the number one secret to the Red Sox comeback:

1. We got Babe Ruth's ghost a hooker and now everything's cool.

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