Don't Try This At Home
By jsolof on Jun 29, 2004
Received today, from my friend Phil:
A waiter employed by my brother-in-law arrrived at work the other evening rather bruised and slightly disoriented.
Apparently he and a good buddy of his (they're both about 22 years old) went out on the Gloucester Casino boat, and returned back to the dock a little less than sober. Cade (his real name) had arranged for his girlfriend to pick them up. She was none too happy that they reeked of cigarette smoke and various alcoholic concoctions.
So, Cade being the thoughtful boyfriend that he can be, suggested that he and his buddy ride in the two kayaks attached to the roof of his girlfriend's car.
Okay, we've all been 22 years old, and perhaps this idea would have made terrific sense were we still 22. Though something tells me it's illegal, even if the kayaks had seatbelts.
It's difficult to create the visual of the inevitable.
The girlfriend tried to be a good driver and all, but at one particular intersection, she made a rather abrupt stop. The kayaks, of course, due to some rather old rules of physics, did not stop. This sent two rather drunk, smelly kayakers bouncing down the hood and onto Main Street.
Needless to say, hoods of cars, and the pavement on Main Street, don't have the same "give" that the Merrimac River does.
And this is, of course, why we always tell people to wear a PFD (Personal Flotation Device) any time they're in a kayak, and to "dress for the water, not for the air".