Monday May 08, 2006

The power and ease of OpenOffice

My 73 year old father never ceases to surprise me. He continues to work in his retirement years and is never afraid to start at the beginning. He works as a commercial real estate broker and recently took a position at a broker's office in Beverly Hills, California. I often help him out with computer issues and on his first day in the office, seated in front of a new computer, he called up to say "how do I open the Excel files I brought with me from home ?"

So, I patiently walked him through finding Microsoft Office on the computer only to find it was not installed. He then asked, "where can I get Excel cheaper than $229 ?"

The answer was simple, I walked him through downloading and installing OpenOffice.

\* Download time: 12 minutes over a LAN

\* Install time: 10 minutes - about five mouseclicks and perhaps twelve words to type

Total time to become productive: Less than 25 minutes

Would someone care to calculate the time and cost to use Microsoft Office?

    1. drive to the store at +$3 a gallon,
    2. park (neither activity a pleasant experience in Los Angeles)
    3. find the CD on the shelf
    4. stand in line
    5. pay!!!!!!!!!
    6. drive back to the office
    7. open the shrinkwrap (toss into the nearest landfill)
    8. validate the product is not counterfeit
    9. insert the CD
    10. install the product
    11. put the CD and license in a safe place in case you ever need it again

start working!

Thursday Feb 23, 2006

The South African cricket team is not doing well lately

Q. What is the height of optimism? A. A South African batsman putting on sunscreen.

Q. What is the main function of the South African coach? A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. What's the South African version of a hat-trick? A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. Why don't South African fielders need pre-tour travel injections? A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What's the South african version of LBW? A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

Q. What do you call a South African with 100 runs against his name? A. A bowler.

Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Graeme Smith? A. His walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the South African touring party? A. The guy who removes the ball marks from the bats.

Q. What does Graeme Smith and a drug addict have in common?? A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.

Q. Who spent the most time on the crease of anyone in the South African touring party? A. The lady who ironed the cricket uniforms.

Q. Why is Graeme Smith cleverer than Houdini? A. Because he can get out without even trying.

Thursday Feb 16, 2006

First blog

I have begun a blog at last after many months of promising myself I would do it!

Why "Jo" - you ask? First, blogs.sun.com/jonathan is taken

Secondly, "Jo" is the nickname I was given as a little boy, but only those who know me well are "authorised" to use it. Most people call me Jonathan with a variety of spellings including Johnathan and Jonathon. (This must be American spelling because no-one in my native South Africa ever spelled my name JonathOn. I dislike "John" or "Jon".

About

Jonathan Gershater

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