"Look, Oprah. Take steroids and let's see you win."
By Geertjan on Mar 07, 2013
I've been blogging for many years on work related issues in this work-sponsored blog and so feel that now, when things have been clearly really getting out of hand, I should be able to take a breather from all that and use this platform to shake some sense into this insane world.
"What's been clearly really getting out of hand in this insane world?" you ask. Well, these sad looking Armstrongites with their long faces and furrowed brows. "Oh Oprah, I repent, I repent." And so on.
Well, one of these doped up cyclists needs to straighten their back and say: "Look, Oprah, right here, right now, I'm going to inject EPO and 27 other steroids directly into your veins. Since that means you will then obviously be invincible, you'll be winning the next three grueling cycling tours, starting with the Tour de France or whatever ludicrous cycling race is next on the madly horrible cycling calendar! Right? Isn't that all that it takes? Isn't that what you've been implying? That it's all really easy? Simply a question of getting a shot in the arm? Well, then, bring on your arm and I'll inject you with steroids. Make some space in your book case because that's where you'll be putting your trophies."
My hero Bill Burr has similar, though different, relativizing comments: