Happy Halloween: Three MySQL Monster Movies
By Duleepa Wijayawardhana on Oct 31, 2008
#3 It Came From Outer Select
This Friday when they thought all was quiet, Jack and Jill decided to have a night out. If only they had stayed home. A screaming fills the night, the monitor rings the pager. Jill's MySQL server has load average spiked and is about to blow up. This Friday only Jill can save the server from near death from a query without an index, a query that has left the server hanging in "copy to tmp table on disk" mode. Will she be able to make it to a console in time?
#2 The Blob
It had sat there for a millenia. It had waited for this time. The developers had mistakenly thought a database was better than a file system for binary storage. Its grey matter twitched and groaned. Like a cow stuffed into a refrigerator, Its retrieval by many multiple queries was about to shake the MySQL Server as it tries to come out. As darkness creeps through the office, Fred is left alone. Alone to fight, The Blob.
And the number one movie:
#1 Nightmare on MySQL Street
The developers on MySQL Street all go to sleep without realizing the danger that awaits them in their previously undisturbed dreams. In their dreams awaits the greatest monster of all time: MySQL 5.1, the never-ending Release Candidate. Slashing through its developer victims one by one, they scream without wakening. Will this nightmare ever end? Only the special dream taskforce can end the nightmare and bring MySQL 5.1 to GA. Coming soon to a theatre near you!
Have a safe and Happy Halloween everyone!