Happy Halloween: Three MySQL Monster Movies

Happy Halloween everyone, it's the night of ghouls and ghosts, trick and treating. My friends and I are dressing up as our characters on the game Rockband. Yes, there is nothing scarier than geeks dressed up. Here's three MySQL Monster Movies that I dreamed up to celebrate this special day, I'll try to write the "trailer" in movie speak, imagine the "guy" who does the movie trailer voice overs reading them.

#3 It Came From Outer Select


This Friday when they thought all was quiet, Jack and Jill decided to have a night out. If only they had stayed home. A screaming fills the night, the monitor rings the pager. Jill's MySQL server has load average spiked and is about to blow up. This Friday only Jill can save the server from near death from a query without an index, a query that has left the server hanging in "copy to tmp table on disk" mode. Will she be able to make it to a console in time?

#2 The Blob

It had sat there for a millenia. It had waited for this time. The developers had mistakenly thought a database was better than a file system for binary storage. Its grey matter twitched and groaned. Like a cow stuffed into a refrigerator, Its retrieval by many multiple queries was about to shake the MySQL Server as it tries to come out. As darkness creeps through the office, Fred is left alone. Alone to fight, The Blob.

And the number one movie:

#1 Nightmare on MySQL Street

The developers on MySQL Street all go to sleep without realizing the danger that awaits them in their previously undisturbed dreams. In their dreams awaits the greatest monster of all time: MySQL 5.1, the never-ending Release Candidate. Slashing through its developer victims one by one, they scream without wakening. Will this nightmare ever end? Only the special dream taskforce can end the nightmare and bring MySQL 5.1 to GA. Coming soon to a theatre near you!

Have a safe and Happy Halloween everyone!
Comments:

Heh, I really enjoyed this one...

People may know me as a MySQL geek, but I'm just like a normal person and totally into horror and thriller movies too, you know...

just a few thoughts...

\* In specs, nobody can hear you scream....
\* I know what you did last audit trail...
\* Falconstein....
\* The return of the bdb snatchers...

Posted by Roland Bouman on October 31, 2008 at 08:36 AM EDT #

alam nyo ba mga friends gusto kong asawa ay mabait,malambing,maaruga,at ang gusto kong anak three girls and one boy at saka ayaw ko ang maitim na puwet,kasi pangit tingnan eh?

Posted by nilfar piquero bongabong on January 25, 2009 at 11:52 PM EST #

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This is the blog of Dups... currently I'm one of MySQL's Community Relations Managers for Sun Microsystems, post, contact me, I want to hear from you!

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