Email Rules

Email can be such a poor way to communicate. I often write emails that are too terse and the people who receive them think that I am cross or that I am being deliberately rude. So I have decided I will now publish the rules by which I have lived for a while:

  • If I wish to convey that you are a fool I will use the phrase: “You are a fool”.

  • If I am bored of talking to you I will use the phrase: “I'm bored of talking to you”.

  • If you have upset me then I will use the phrase: “You have upset me”.

  • If I wish to upset you in an indeterminate way I will use the phrase: “I have a higher opinion of Conservative M.P.s than I have of you.”. Just trust me that will be an insult.

If you get an email from me that does not contain those phrases, but you are upset or insulted by it, then it is just my poor use of English. Please accept my apologies.

Comments:

Was it an Urban Legend or someone really take offence when you mailed them to say "Thanks a lot, that's all I need"?

Posted by Mike Smith on November 01, 2007 at 12:06 PM GMT #

No that really happened. Alas I no longer have the email but the exact words I wrote are etched on my brain:

Thanks, thats just what we needed, once again thanks.

This was after the engineer had actually delivered the very thing that I had asked for so how it got misunderstood was as beyond me then as it is now.

Posted by Chris Gerhard on November 01, 2007 at 12:41 PM GMT #

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This is the old blog of Chris Gerhard. It has mostly moved to http://chrisgerhard.wordpress.com

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