Friday Sep 11, 2009

Facts about Albert Pujols

As the 2009 Major League Baseball season enters its final month, St. Louis Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols looks to win his second National League Most Valuable Player (MVP) award. St. Louis Cardinals Twitter Nation (#stlcards) member Ray Kern (@Southside_Ray) thought it would be a good idea to share some of what we have learned about the Cardinal slugger. So in the spirit of Facts about Chuck Norris, here are some .....

    Facts about Albert Pujols

  1. Albert Pujols doesn't hit baseballs. Baseballs see Albert and fly out of the park on their own.
  2. An Albert Pujols home run can cause the tides to change.
  3. Albert Pujols bats third because if he hit in any other spot it would cause the world to collapse.
  4. If Albert Pujols were to play for any other team, that team would instantaneously transform into the St. Louis Cardinals.
  5. Albert Pujols could play every position. He just thinks other players deserve a chance too.
  6. While playing a home game for the Springfield Cardinals (AA farm team of the St. Louis Cardinals), Albert Pujols once hit a ball so far it was credited as a home run in both Springfield and St. Louis.
  7. An Albert Pujols home run equals two home homes by any other player.
  8. Anybody who sees Albert Pujols hit a home suddenly becomes a St. Louis Cardinals fan (Cubs fans excluded, naturally)
  9. The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved pitching to Albert Pujols as a homeopathic cure for constipation.
  10. When the player in front of Albert Pujols hits a home run it is because the pitcher is watching Albert taking his practice swings.
  11. When Albert Pujols is in your town the local air traffic control won't allow airplanes within 25 miles of the stadium.
  12. The reason former Cardinal pitchers give up home runs to Albert Pujols is because they're too distracted by his glowing red eyes.
  13. Tony LaRussa refuses to let Albert Pujols pitch because it would make teammate Chris Carpenter look bad.
  14. When Albert Pujols hits a home run the person catching the ball has great luck for a year. And a broken hand for the next six weeks ... So beware!
  15. When other Cardinal players try to touch Albert Pujols' bat after he hits a home run, it burns their hands.
  16. Albert Pujols can only hit 2 home runs in a game. Unless, of course, he wants to hit more.
  17. When dreaming, Albert Pujols hits all the time... Oh wait thats not a dream!
  18. Tony LaRussa asks Albert Pujols for managing advice.
  19. Albert Pujols once traveled back in time. You may know him as Babe Ruth.
  20. Albert Pujols went down to the crossroads to make a deal with the Devil. Once the Devil saw Albert hit, he just shook his head and gave Albert his soul instead.
  21. Albert Pujols was the first right handed batter to hit a home run into McCovey Cove (San Francisco). From San Diego.
  22. If Ted Williams hit in front of Albert Pujols in 1947, Williams would have lost the triple crown. But he would have hit .531.
  23. Tweets about Albert Pujols are the number one reason that Twitter goes over capacity.
  24. They will eventually name the Most Valuable Player (MVP) award the Albert Pujols Award.
  25. The reason that Adam Wainwright and Chris Carpenter are Cy Young candidates in 2009 is that neither of them have to pitch to Albert Pujols.
  26. Interstate 70 will be renamed The Albert Pujols Highway. Interstate 70 was also given to Albert has part of his most recent contract negotiation.
  27. Swine flu once got a case of Albert Pujols.
  28. The games the St. Louis Cardinals lose is because Albert Pujols wants the season to be more interesting.
  29. Albert Pujols could hit a home run in every game. But he doesn't want to appear too good.
  30. Albert Pujols doesn't inject himself with human growth hormones (HGH). He injects himself with hot lava.
  31. Albert Pujols was the only baseball player ever drafted at birth.
I'm sure this list will grow, as will the legend of Albert Pujols. If you have any facts about Albert, please send them to me and I will update this list.

A very special thanks to Ray Kern for getting this list started and contributing most of the content. And thanks to Cardinal Nation on Twitter (#stlcards). If you want to follow some of the best fans in sports, check out #stlcards on Twitter.

Bob Netherton is a Principal Sales Consultant for the North American Commercial Hardware group, specializing in Solaris, Virtualization and Engineered Systems. Bob is also a contributing author of Solaris 10 Virtualization Essentials.

This blog will contain information about all three, but primarily focused on topics for Solaris system administrators.

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