Last few weeks I was obsessing about decisions. I had to think about
culture. I had to think about our responsibilities
to our kid. I am in the US now and we have to go
back soon. There are no un-thwartable reasons to
go back. The reasons I quote are taking care of
parents, being at a place which is really home and
belongs to us and allowing our kid to grow up
immersed in our culture and education. She is happy here enjoying
the parks and play school and long trips.
We have friends here who are questioning our sanity about going back.
We have our parents, relative and friends in India not believing we will
come back. I have colleagues who counsel me about opportunities and
exploiting them and giving my kid the best possible education. I have
other friends who tell me how much more money I can make and how stress
free and easy life is here.
Am I really denying my a daughter good education and a better life only
because I value something as ephemeral and shifting as culture? Would
she be a better person because of "our" culture? Do my responsibilities
have an inflated perception factor and a very small reality factor? I
thought a lot, rather I obsessed a lot and went around with a dour face
and an irritable disposition.
Finally, I have decided. I absolved myself all sins so to say. Thinking
back how I grew up, memories I cherish, where I studied, what I enjoyed, I
don't see it being very different for my daughter. For every
luxury I may have missed during childhood there is an
enjoyable story, some learning, an event, a reason making it
special and enriching than a lack of some sort. From
mosquito bites to crowded open markets, from overloaded
public buses to lack of shopping malls, from dirty
rest-rooms to inadequate infrastructure, everything has left
an impression on me. Whether good or bad or inconsequential,
all that is what has made me.
The "could have been"s are endless, I have decided for her.
I know I am giving her what she deserves, only the best.