Oracle Space Shuttle Wins Milky Way Cup



Larry Ellison piloted the space shuttle "11g" to victory in the first running of the Milky Way Cup.

"It was a team effort," Ellison quipped into his space suit while orbiting Saturn's moon Hyperion.

"Lots of work went..." he added before the transmission was interrupted by an unidentified celestial body.

"That's not fair" said an IBM spokesperson from somewhere in New York state.




"Winners win, losers whine," Ellison responded before we lost the signal again.

"It's not a real race if you don't tell the people you're supposed to be racing against," added a clearly irritated spokesperson from SAP.

The transmission from Hyperion was breaking up badly, but we thought we could make out something that sounded like "Nya-nya-nyaaa" before we lost it completely. We'll hear the rest of Ellison's statement whenever the unpredictable Hyperion re-emerges from its orbit around Saturn.

In other news, The Onion reports that an Americans spend 14 trillion dollars annually just trying to look cool.

It's always April Fools at The Onion.

- Rick
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