I will remember you...
By ThinGuy on Oct 03, 2007
While I'm a happily married man, I just spent an hour with a woman I'll never forget. I should thank the TSA, for if they had any clue on how to schedule their staff, we might have just been two ships that passed in the night..er..day. I'm pretty sure the TSA staffing formula looks like this (5/1)a + HOSPb = 2 Lanes Open. Wouldn't it be brilliant if somehow there was a way they could actually forecast how many people would be at the airport on a given day? It would be silly to think that airlines actually knew a few days in advance of how many tickets they sold. Silly.
But I've gotten off track, back to the subject at hand. While I may never know her name, I did come up with a pet name for her: Mom Jeans Lady. Excuse me gentle reader as I direct the rest of this entry to MJL.
Thank you for the amazing view. The Black Eyed Peas kept playing over and over in my head..."What you gonna do with all that junk, all that junk inside your trunk?". While Gerontophilia is not my bag, all I can say is you took those jeans and made them your own. I couldn't resist preserving the moment digitally. Sorry for the blurry picture. What can I say, I was love drunk on your humps.
Fortunately I'll have something else to remember you by as well besides a blurry picture. However, there is something I want to share with you. A bit of May-December advice if you will. You really don't need to tote your carry on bag at a full 45 degree angle to get it to move. Your arm has this muscle called a bicep that if used, you can actually keep the bag almost parallel to that fabulous money maker. Also, if you check that you have your boarding pass once and then put it away you can actually stop checking to see if you have it.
But this is advice I'm glad you didn't have prior to our meeting. Because if you did, you wouldn't have constantly been dropping your bag and I wouldn't have this reminder of our time spent together. Love hurts, especially love that was never meant to be.
a In LAS there are five stations to check your ID and boarding pass. These five lines then converge into one line.
b Hordes of Stupid People